1. There’s nothing worse than someone ordering something from the secret menu.

 

2. If you order something like this, we probably hate you a little.

3. Especially if you then have the nerve to complain about your order.

 

4. The horror of seeing a group of teenage girls enter the store, because you just know they’re all going to order Frappuccinos.

5. And then walk out with their order as if it’s a fashion accessory.

 

6. Spelling your name right is the least of our worries, especially when there’s a queue of people waiting to be served.

7. PLEASE stop asking for extra caramel with everything.

 

8. No, we won’t put sugar in your coffee for you.

 

9. Every store has that one customer who orders an espresso and spends all morning in the store writing, thinking he’s Hemingway.

10. And a customer who treats the place like a home or an office.

11. If you don’t know what you want, there’s no way we’ll know. Please just tell us what you want.

12. It’s a universal law that someone will come in one minute before closing with a really awkward order.

 

13. And if you’re still on your phone while ordering, we probably want to kill you.

 

15. We know that you didn’t order an iced drink. Don’t lie because you changed your mind mid-serving.

 

16. And seriously, please stop asking if you can change your order AFTER we’ve made it.

18. The struggle of not rolling our eyes when someone tries to act smart by overpronouncing the name of the drinks.

 

19. But it’s all worth it for that free caffeine*!

 

*Only free during shift hours.